Tonight I spent the last part of my grading session browsing the internet for baby thank you notes and then looking at people's baby pictures on Facebook. It was a little bit of baby obsession time!
At the conclusion of seeing pretty little faces and wondering about Baby H's sweet little face, I told Baby H, "I miss you, Baby H! I miss you without ever having met you. Is that possible?"
As I think about it now, I know it is possible because I used to miss Steve even before I met him. What an interesting and sweet little paradox.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Week *17* Excitement
Dear Baby H,
A couple of nights ago, I was lying in bed while your daddy was sleeping. I might have been trying to fall asleep, or I might have woken up for a minute, I can't really remember. However, what I do remember is the amazing little feeling that occurred near my side.
I'm pretty sure I was lying on my back when I felt an unmistakable "flutter" to my left side. I immediately though, "Oh my gosh- a FLUTTER!" Everyone had been telling me that when I first felt you, it would be a flutter or a little ripple that would catch my attention in a strange way. Well, that's exactly what I experienced! Naturally, I got really excited and lay there thinking how happy I was to have said hello to you.
Then, I thought to myself, "But Baby H, how could you ever be all the way over there?!" At which point, I pretty much talked myself out of the whole experience and decided you hadn't said hello yet. Luckily, I talked to Nonnie the next day and she assured me that I very well could have felt you. : ) So, I am going with that! Thank you, Baby H!
The other most exciting thing about this week is the fact that I learned you are able to start hearing things. You can probably hear my heart beating and my stomach when it grumbles. (I wonder if you'll mistake that with Bagle's snoring eventually? He sounds pretty much like a grumbly stomach.) This is very exciting and I am going to try to talk to you more instead of just writing to you, but I have to admit it still feels a bit surreal! In the same hope, though, I will also be letting you listen to Dave Matthews Band in the coming days and weeks. Yay! :)
Please keep moving around in there, Baby H. I hope you are comfortable and I hope my body is cooperating for you. I'd love to feel you again, so don't be shy.
<3 Your Mom
A couple of nights ago, I was lying in bed while your daddy was sleeping. I might have been trying to fall asleep, or I might have woken up for a minute, I can't really remember. However, what I do remember is the amazing little feeling that occurred near my side.
I'm pretty sure I was lying on my back when I felt an unmistakable "flutter" to my left side. I immediately though, "Oh my gosh- a FLUTTER!" Everyone had been telling me that when I first felt you, it would be a flutter or a little ripple that would catch my attention in a strange way. Well, that's exactly what I experienced! Naturally, I got really excited and lay there thinking how happy I was to have said hello to you.
Then, I thought to myself, "But Baby H, how could you ever be all the way over there?!" At which point, I pretty much talked myself out of the whole experience and decided you hadn't said hello yet. Luckily, I talked to Nonnie the next day and she assured me that I very well could have felt you. : ) So, I am going with that! Thank you, Baby H!
The other most exciting thing about this week is the fact that I learned you are able to start hearing things. You can probably hear my heart beating and my stomach when it grumbles. (I wonder if you'll mistake that with Bagle's snoring eventually? He sounds pretty much like a grumbly stomach.) This is very exciting and I am going to try to talk to you more instead of just writing to you, but I have to admit it still feels a bit surreal! In the same hope, though, I will also be letting you listen to Dave Matthews Band in the coming days and weeks. Yay! :)
Please keep moving around in there, Baby H. I hope you are comfortable and I hope my body is cooperating for you. I'd love to feel you again, so don't be shy.
<3 Your Mom
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
...sometimes pregnancy is scary.
Okay, there, I said it- sometimes this journey is scary! Now, Baby H, I hope you don't feel burdened by reading this, but I honestly just want to portray the challenging moments with the invigorating moments because they all balance out to a truly wonderful whole. So please, don't worry too much in reading this, okay? : )
On Thursday evening of last week, Steve and I were assuming our regular pre-bed couch positions and watching a recorded episode of one of our favorite shows (Top Chef). Normally, I look forward to this ritual and often gab eagerly throughout it - which he really LOVES - but on this night, I just couldn't get comfortable. Now, this has become more of a challenge anyways as of late, what with the expanding belly, but something really just wasn't right. I kept moving around, and realized that my back was starting to irritate me. Having experienced back pain for the first two months of pregnancy, I figured I was just venturing down the same road, but then it got to be practically unbearable. So unbearable, in fact, that I straight up left during the last and best ten minutes of the show and went up to bed in attempt to soothe my aches.
Unfortunately, things only got worse when I went up to bed. The pain was increasing at an alarming rate, matched by my worries. All I could think to myself was, "Don't people feel contractions in their back? Why can't I breathe? Why can't I get comfortable? What is going on??" I called for Steve, with a loud and moaning, "Baaaabe," whereupon *Bagle* came bounding up the stairs and planted himself by my side on the bed. (I <3 that dog.) Steve eventually made it up the stairs to me but at that point I had already decided I needed to call the doctor. I was scared.
I waited for the call back from the answering service, and was eventually connected to my doctor. I explained to her the position of my pain (middle back extending around to my ribs) and answered her questions between gasps. She assured me to try Tylenol and a heating pad, but to go into the hospital for a check-up if things got worse. I took a breath, thanked her, and hung up with a desperate hope.
To be honest, I've avoided reading about what contractions feel like and when and where they occur for the very reason that I don't want that knowledge to be haunting me until we're really close! Therefore, I really had no idea about what I was experiencing. Thankfully, Steve gave me some firm words of advice after I got off the phone- he told me he had felt my pain before, that it was a likely a muscle spasm, and that as hard as it may seem I NEEDED to calm down in order for my muscles to do the work to loosen up. Heating pad arranged and myself now located on the guest bed with the extra firm mattress, I tried my best to follow my doctor and Steve's advice.
THANK GOD the heating pad started to do the trick within a few minutes and finally my mind was able to start settling. I gradually found myself trusting in the fact that I had done the right thing so far, and that decreasing pain was a positive sign. Eventually, I even fell asleep for a few hours at a time.
Of course, I wish I weren't so neurotic at times and that I could handle the fear of the unknown better. I PRAY, Baby H, that you will receive your dad's healthy acceptance for life, speckled with his love of a challenge. My nerves are not something I want you to have to live with. Nevertheless, this scary and somewhat carried away moment of mine was yet another learning experience for me during pregnancy. I learned from the doctor the next morning that muscle spasms in the back and legs are actually common during pregnancy, since the blood flow in my body is changing all around to cater to Baby H. I also learned that so far, my body really enjoys testing out a variety of pregnancy "symptoms."
Thank you for teaching me about a new part of life, Baby H. Please help me to have faith in you and to allow you to be as you need to be. We love you!
On Thursday evening of last week, Steve and I were assuming our regular pre-bed couch positions and watching a recorded episode of one of our favorite shows (Top Chef). Normally, I look forward to this ritual and often gab eagerly throughout it - which he really LOVES - but on this night, I just couldn't get comfortable. Now, this has become more of a challenge anyways as of late, what with the expanding belly, but something really just wasn't right. I kept moving around, and realized that my back was starting to irritate me. Having experienced back pain for the first two months of pregnancy, I figured I was just venturing down the same road, but then it got to be practically unbearable. So unbearable, in fact, that I straight up left during the last and best ten minutes of the show and went up to bed in attempt to soothe my aches.
Unfortunately, things only got worse when I went up to bed. The pain was increasing at an alarming rate, matched by my worries. All I could think to myself was, "Don't people feel contractions in their back? Why can't I breathe? Why can't I get comfortable? What is going on??" I called for Steve, with a loud and moaning, "Baaaabe," whereupon *Bagle* came bounding up the stairs and planted himself by my side on the bed. (I <3 that dog.) Steve eventually made it up the stairs to me but at that point I had already decided I needed to call the doctor. I was scared.
I waited for the call back from the answering service, and was eventually connected to my doctor. I explained to her the position of my pain (middle back extending around to my ribs) and answered her questions between gasps. She assured me to try Tylenol and a heating pad, but to go into the hospital for a check-up if things got worse. I took a breath, thanked her, and hung up with a desperate hope.
To be honest, I've avoided reading about what contractions feel like and when and where they occur for the very reason that I don't want that knowledge to be haunting me until we're really close! Therefore, I really had no idea about what I was experiencing. Thankfully, Steve gave me some firm words of advice after I got off the phone- he told me he had felt my pain before, that it was a likely a muscle spasm, and that as hard as it may seem I NEEDED to calm down in order for my muscles to do the work to loosen up. Heating pad arranged and myself now located on the guest bed with the extra firm mattress, I tried my best to follow my doctor and Steve's advice.
THANK GOD the heating pad started to do the trick within a few minutes and finally my mind was able to start settling. I gradually found myself trusting in the fact that I had done the right thing so far, and that decreasing pain was a positive sign. Eventually, I even fell asleep for a few hours at a time.
Of course, I wish I weren't so neurotic at times and that I could handle the fear of the unknown better. I PRAY, Baby H, that you will receive your dad's healthy acceptance for life, speckled with his love of a challenge. My nerves are not something I want you to have to live with. Nevertheless, this scary and somewhat carried away moment of mine was yet another learning experience for me during pregnancy. I learned from the doctor the next morning that muscle spasms in the back and legs are actually common during pregnancy, since the blood flow in my body is changing all around to cater to Baby H. I also learned that so far, my body really enjoys testing out a variety of pregnancy "symptoms."
Thank you for teaching me about a new part of life, Baby H. Please help me to have faith in you and to allow you to be as you need to be. We love you!
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Story of the Mugs
As some of you may or may not know, I had a dream before we got pregnant where I gave my sister-in-law a mug that said, "First a bridesmaid, now an aunt!" I woke up from the dream thinking that I needed to make this vision a reality some day, as I have been known to do in the past with some of my other dream ideas (programs for our wedding, etc.) Well, a month later, I realized I'd have the opportunity to do so!
So I went to my favorite gift-giving website, www.etsy.com, and found an artist who personalizes mugs. I had one made for my brother and SIL. Below is a picture of the one we gave Robbie.
It was a lot of fun and worked out perfectly; we sent the mugs to them overnight the night of our 8 week appointment when we heard the heartbeat and saw that there actually was Baby H residing in me! (It's funny to think what a blob you looked like then, I'll have to post that first picture sometime :) ) Rob and Sheri seemed to really love the surprise, and I think they even liked the mugs as practical mugs, too!
Well, a few weeks later, I hear from my brother over a text, and then my thoughts about their appreciation of the gift went down the toilet! He texted me with this:
Rob: "Hey! Just wondering if u want us 2 send ur mugs back?"
My verbal reaction must have been a scoffing, sort of offended noise because Steve immediately asked me what my problem was. I explained the text to him, and said something to the effect of, "No, I don't want the stupid mug back, it's a freaking gift! Doesn't he get it?!"
To which my lovely, ever so logical husband responded, "Oh, well maybe they're having a kid."
To which I, the clearly superior thinker came back with, "Oh PLEASE they're not having a kid because he would NOT tell this to me over TEXT."
And then I got this text:
Rob: "ARE U SURE?!?!"
At which point I'm pretty sure I started hyperventilating and or screaming, and Steve knowingly nodded his pretty little bald head at his cleverness. I called my brother IMMEDIATELY and oh my gosh... the news was true!!!! My bro and SIL found out the morning after we told them our news that they, too, would be sharing in this wonder.
Do you realize what this means, my precious readers? It basically means that God realized I couldn't go through this alone and gave me a built-in, go-to, step-by-step comfort of a friend in my sister-in-law. Our shared experiences- and some of them have been downright uncanny- have brought such peace to me as I have learned how to be pregnant with you, Baby H. Not to mention the fact that you and Baby T will always have each other, hopefully as good friends, throughout your lives!! This makes me so excited for you both.
Another reason that makes this so special is the fact that my cousins (your second? great? cousins... I'll have to look into this) Kristine and Steven, went through the very same thing with their spouses and their first babies! Two new babies within a month of each other. Wow! Love Love Love <3 : )
Here's to you, Baby H, and YOU, Baby T! We all love both of you so much. I pray your timings continue to bless us.
<3 the Mama
So I went to my favorite gift-giving website, www.etsy.com, and found an artist who personalizes mugs. I had one made for my brother and SIL. Below is a picture of the one we gave Robbie.
Well, a few weeks later, I hear from my brother over a text, and then my thoughts about their appreciation of the gift went down the toilet! He texted me with this:
Rob: "Hey! Just wondering if u want us 2 send ur mugs back?"
My verbal reaction must have been a scoffing, sort of offended noise because Steve immediately asked me what my problem was. I explained the text to him, and said something to the effect of, "No, I don't want the stupid mug back, it's a freaking gift! Doesn't he get it?!"
To which my lovely, ever so logical husband responded, "Oh, well maybe they're having a kid."
To which I, the clearly superior thinker came back with, "Oh PLEASE they're not having a kid because he would NOT tell this to me over TEXT."
And then I got this text:
Rob: "ARE U SURE?!?!"
At which point I'm pretty sure I started hyperventilating and or screaming, and Steve knowingly nodded his pretty little bald head at his cleverness. I called my brother IMMEDIATELY and oh my gosh... the news was true!!!! My bro and SIL found out the morning after we told them our news that they, too, would be sharing in this wonder.
Do you realize what this means, my precious readers? It basically means that God realized I couldn't go through this alone and gave me a built-in, go-to, step-by-step comfort of a friend in my sister-in-law. Our shared experiences- and some of them have been downright uncanny- have brought such peace to me as I have learned how to be pregnant with you, Baby H. Not to mention the fact that you and Baby T will always have each other, hopefully as good friends, throughout your lives!! This makes me so excited for you both.
Another reason that makes this so special is the fact that my cousins (your second? great? cousins... I'll have to look into this) Kristine and Steven, went through the very same thing with their spouses and their first babies! Two new babies within a month of each other. Wow! Love Love Love <3 : )
Here's to you, Baby H, and YOU, Baby T! We all love both of you so much. I pray your timings continue to bless us.
<3 the Mama
Monday, January 3, 2011
food love
Dear Baby H,
I love you so much I haven't had one lick of brownie batter or one scoop of cookie dough in FOUR months.
<3 Your Mama
I love you so much I haven't had one lick of brownie batter or one scoop of cookie dough in FOUR months.
<3 Your Mama
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