Baby H's Blog Has Relocated!

Hi, everyone!  The story of Baby H... Phoebe!!!... will now be continued at a new blogsite:

Twinkle, Twinkle Little One- New Location

I hope to see you there! <3

Current Events Around Your B*Day

My mom's cousin and professional photographer gave Steve and I some interesting advice when we were discussing the upcoming birth of Baby H; he told us we should take pictures of the "average" things in our life: what our house looks like, the cars we drive, our favorite foods *I might have made that one up* etc.  He explained that it would be even more interesting for Baby to be able to look back on life as it was when he or she entered the world, as well as for us to remember what it was like then, too.  He explained, "Everyone always has a million pictures of the baby, but not much of what the life surrounding baby was like."

Therefore, in addition to taking those pictures I want to catalog some of the events here.  I hope Baby H gets a kick out of reading this someday!

Our daily life:

• Bagle, our pug, is 10 years old and Koko, our Rhodesian Ridgeback/Boxer mix is 9
• Daddy Hauser drives a dark gray Rav4 and I drive a white Honda Accord
• I'm writing this from a first floor office that displays almost all of my collection of books
• I'm currently reading Something Blue by Emily Giffin because it's a brainless, relaxing read 
• Daddy and I love to watch (shamelessly): The Real Housewives of Orange County, Pregnant in Heels, and Top Chef on BravoTV as well as any home and garden show on HGTV
• The newest CDs I've been listening to lately are Adele's album 21 and a mix of Taylor Swift songs

Local/ national/ worldwide events:

• Current local weather temperatures are resulting in record-breaking highs: upper 90s this week alone
• PA Governor Corbett continues to push huge budget cuts to education resulting in many local school layoffs, thankfully not affecting me but sadly affecting a handful of close friends
• President Obama continues to create and push a controversial national health care plan
• Osama bin Laden was killed a few weeks ago in Pakistan

Entertainment:

• Teens and adults alike are eagerly anticipating the release of the last Harry Potter movie and the release of the first half of the last Twilight series movie, Breaking Dawn
• The Dave Matthews Band has taken a hiatus from straight touring during the summer for the first time in twenty years; however, caravan shows are popping up randomly at festivals throughout the summer months
• The Miami Heat and Dallas Mavericks are currently battling for NBA Championship rights: the hot name within The Heat is Lebron James
• Lady Gaga is a controversial and often talked about musical icon said to mimic the legacy created by Madonna; her current single is titled "Born This Way" 

 I feel like I've created a bit of a time capsule within this entry!  Feel free to comment with other tid-bits that you think might be interesting to look back upon during the year of Baby H's birth. : )  

A Prayer for Baby H

Dear Baby H,

We are in the home stretch now... the official countdown from today is 12 days until your due date.  These 12 days have become even better since I made the somewhat difficult (at first) decision of having my doctor start my maternity leave a few days early.  Now, instead of working until your due date and praying I don't go into labor in front of any students, I'll be at home (still grading a bit) but feeling much more relaxed overall.  I think this decision is going to be best for me *and* you both!  I knew I was putting way too much stress into my body during these final days, and just don't want to do that to either of us before we embark on Our Big Day.

Speaking of Our Big Day, I'd like to just offer up a little prayer for us both.  Part of me feels bad that you are going to go into total shock as you leave your nice womby suite and hit the bright lights and cold air of this world!  I promise that I will be holding and soothing you as soon as I can, though, and when I'm not your daddy will, and when we're not, the nurses will be.  I'd like to pray that you make it through labor well, that my body is able to do its best for you- whether that means through natural labor or a C-section depending on your size (we've heard you're on the larger size...!)- and that I am able to stay focused and in one piece for you.  I have been practicing my guided imagery exercises *using a DMB concert as my happy place* and breathing techniques so that I can default to these healthy options when things get a bit rough.  On top of all of this, I think the sheer excitement of you and finding out who you are will also propel me forward!  I pray that this is true and that I am strong enough to keep going, with whatever and however this process happens.  I also pray that I will know for sure when this whole labor process starts- and not have to wait for your daddy to drive home to get me!  But now I'm just probably asking too much... : )

Everything is very surreal right now.  I can't believe we will meet each other soon.  I hope your first moments on this earth are blessed, preparing you for a beautiful life to come. 

Love,
Your Mom <3

We shall see...

I think it should be noted that on this past Sunday night, I had the strange urge to stay up until after ten creating a new lesson plan to use for English 12 the following day.  When I finally finished it, I then decided I just had to finish the thank you notes I had been working on all weekend.  I didn't go to bed until ELEVEN THIRTY!

Burst of energy?  Or just a fluke?  We shall see...

Then, on Monday evening, this happened:

She's been clinging to me so much lately!  Random or not so much?  We shall see... : )

Hang in there, Baby H!  You're going to do great when your time is here.

showers of happiness

Dear Baby H,

Today was my shower hosted by Nonnie in New York; we celebrated the upcoming births of you and your cousin, Baby T!  Aunt Sheri and I loved basking in the miracles of you sweet unborn babes.  We ate great food and gathered with friends and family who I haven't seen in awhile who are all so in love with you and your cousin already!  The menu items that you enjoyed with me are as follows: pasta, eggplant parmesan, salt potatoes, fruit salad, caramel fudge cake, and eclair cake!  You were kicking just enough after the meal to let me know we did well with the selection.

Speaking of kicking, you cracked everyone up during one of many photos when you jumped around in my belly for all to see!  Other than that, though, you were not into showing off for most of the day.  However, I did poke around and let a few people reach out to feel your cute little baby bum :)  It's the easiest part to locate as you shift around inside of your first home!

Your aunt and I opened gifts for nearly two hours!  Everyone had such wonderful gifts to give you- you are surely going to be covered in stars!!  I said I hope you like stars, but I was assured for these first few months of life it really it only matters what I like- haha, so when you read back on this, know that I was pushing the stars ; ) You also gained quite the initial baby library- I just can't wait to share these books with you and see which ones become your favorites.  You have classics, such as Dr. Seuss and The Little Engine that Could, as well as new ones- including a story that is so new, you've received a copy of it before it is officially bound and published, thanks to your Aunt Corinna!

Today was a wonderful day.  Not only did everything look amazing, courtesy of a great team of decorators, but it felt awesome to be able to celebrate you, too.  Speaking of you... so many people think YOU are a boy!  They looked at me and said it's a sure thing- we shall see. : )

Well, right now I'm going to review some of the pictures from our day; I'll probably post some later.

Love you, Baby H!
Your Mama

dreams

Dear Baby H,

Throughout pregnancy, I have had a few dreams about... you?  I say this with a question because although I know you quite well- what you don't like me to eat, how you feel when you move, when you're asleep- I still don't know whether you are a little boy or a little girl!  Therefore, I think it's worth noting the two dreams I've had about your possible identity because I'm sure it may slip my mind that I had these dreams at all once I do finally meet *you.* 

During the first trimester, I had a dream where I was caring for an infant baby girl.  She was super cute and in my heart of hearts, I just knew she was you, Baby H!  The premise of the dream was one where I kept holding you close, but then in the blink of an eye, I'd realize you were somewhere else and have to go searching around frantically for you.  The emotions in this dream were very strong, ranging from the content feeling of having you close to the panic of realizing we were apart.  When I woke up, I couldn't help but think this won't be the first time I experience these same emotions in your lifetime.

Now, some people thought that since this was my first true "baby dream" that you must be a girl.  However, I wasn't totally convinced because although my dreams often do reveal interesting truths, my friend who thinks I'm having a girl HAD just asked me if I'd had a dream yet about the identity of my baby.  Sooo... who knows- was it the power of suggestion or are you my little girl?

As for the second significant baby dream, I had it just last night.  In this dream, I am pretty sure I was in labor, although it was like the time of contractions with lots of space in between so that actually a couple of days passed in the spacious labor room amidst fam and friends.  I remember wondering, "What am I having?" and then it was like I got a glimpse of you, Baby H, before I actually went through the process of giving birth to you.  It was a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy- prob about 8 months or so- toddling toward me and SO CUTE!!  I just remember being struck by how cute "you" were!  That dream was very choppy so there's not too much more that I can remember, but it sure was interesting! 

Just like my first dream, though, I have a feeling that this was brought on by the fact that Steve's co-worker stayed with us this weekend with his two sons.  There were a lot of comments to me about "good luck if you have a boy" and the like, so I think that's why I dreamt this dream.  Nevertheless, it sure will be interesting to see if any of these images resonate with the little one that you are. 

Well, I'm getting tired and we need our sleep, so I am going to close this here even though I could say so much more!   Tomorrow you will appear on the ultrasound screen again for us- just make sure not to flash yourself!  You've done so well so far. : )

Love you, Baby H!
<3 Mama

the orange drink

Well, I survived the orange drink.  The big question now is whether I've passed or failed! 

It wasn't *quite* as bad as I thought it would be, but it definitely wasn't pleasant.  I am particularly sensitive when it comes to drinking as part of preparation for a test due to the GI tests I went through during junior high.  Not to mention the fact that I have never been one to chug things willingly!

However, today I urged myself on with the chugging and finished it in *four* minutes- just under the five required.  The worst part was my first chug resulting in only about a sixth of the bottle being gone!!  My motivation certainly wasn't, "If I finish this then I can find out if I'm banned from sweets for three months" but rather, "All in the name of Baby H..." Sort of neat how this little person was "sitting" right there with me and giving me strength! 

Well, I'll be sure to give a final update when I know more about my test results tomorrow.  I have a sinking feeling I'll be one of the fifty percent who fail by chance, not by sincere diabetes...

Whoa, Baby!

In the last couple of weeks, Baby has been increasing movement and strength by leaps and bounds!  The days of popcorn popping and butterflies fluttering are nearly gone, and now when I feel Baby a few things happen: either I see my stomach move! or I feel something powerful that makes me envision a punch, kick, or flip! 

I love feeling all of this and really like having others feel it, too.  When it happens at school I want to share it with all of my friends, but I'm usually too busy to notice it at an opportune time.  Speaking of sharing, I'm surprised by the lack of random "pets" I get on my belly- lol.  I really thought more people would be reaching out, but it's really only Mom and my good friend Kasandra- who's baby boy is part of the reason that made me really want an itty bitty finally, too. :) 

Well, me and the little kicker are going to relax for the rest of the night.  Saturdays have been really hard for me to use productively, unless I have something specific planned, because the work week has been leaving me totally burnt out and exhausted.  School is going well overall, just third trimester exhaustion is definitely making it all seem a bit longer.  I am only hoping this is normal and that I'm not some pathetic bump on a weekend log!

Thanks for reading- more picture updates to come soon. : )

Steve is so high class....

Steve and I have a wedding to attend in April, which naturally means I've been obsessing over what dress I should buy to flatter my features of Baby H!  In an effort to help Steve feel involved- okay, and maybe secretly to get him to buy it for me, too ;) - I sent him an e-mail of links to various options.  His response?  Well, he thinks I should go with this option- see below:

Oh, okay babe, I'll just sport the thousands of dollar dress that is fitted just for me.  Ha!  Men!

I think I'll be going with a slightly more affordable and hopefully still beautiful option.  These are the two I really like... what do you think?  :) 

simple things that I don't know how to do

First things first, a big hooray for Steve making it out of surgery so wonderfully!  We are officially on the road to recovery as I am also on the road to the finish line of the third trimester. 

As for the my post title, there are a few things that I've thought about here and there that leave me completely terrified of caring for a child, more specifically, Baby H!  Here's the current list:

1. What if Baby is sleeping and the dogs need to go out?  (We don't have a fence...)  Am I supposed to just walk out the door with them and leave Baby in here alone?!  This seems horrible.  How will I know if Baby is okay and should I just bring the monitor with me?
2. When Baby is old enough to go to the grocery store with me, and I'm loading the car with groceries from my cart, do I put Baby in the car seat first then return the cart?  Or should I just carry Baby with me as I walk to the cart return then put Baby in the car seat when we're both back at the car?
3. If I'm supposed to put Baby to bed when he or she is still awake to allow him or her to figure out how to fall asleep, when will I know that Baby is tired?  Does crying always mean "I'm tired"?  What if Baby falls asleep in my arms?  
4. Speaking of which, what if Baby falls asleep while nursing?  What are the choking hazards I should be wary of?  
5. How do you know when a baby needs to burp? 
6. I washed a bib in regular detergent.  Does that mean I should rewash it in Dreft?
7. How will I know if a cry during the night is just lungs exercising or a true cry for help?
8. If I use one "all natural" product, does that mean everything I use should be all natural?  

Hmm... the list seems to be expanding, but those are the big ones for now.  Oh, dear.

*cough, cough*

Dear Baby H,

I am totally sick.  I haven't caught any weird viruses since the fall during our first trimester, but unfortunately that streak is over.  I started coughing on Sunday evening, a bit earlier than when I wrote the last post, but it has gotten so much worse.  My voice is half gone, my body is sore most likely from all of the coughing, and my head is all congested. :(

The weird part about being sick while pregnant is that I can't help but wonder what this must feel like for you!  My whole body is writhing with each of my coughs, so I hope your world isn't getting rocked *too* much.  You're still being quite active, though, so you must be toughing it out.  I really hope you don't feel as badly as I do...

Well, I can't see the doctor until this evening- UGH- so I'm going back to bed.  I figure if there's one thing that could help both of us right now it would be resting.  Hang in there with me, Baby H!

<3 Your Mom

Big Day for Baby H and Daddy

Dear Baby H,

This month, you just keep on groovin'!  A couple of days I've noticed you less and that has worried me a bit, but then you come back with pops and bursts in just enough time to reassure me you're there.  I've noticed that sometimes, when I'm particularly busy from my second trimester energy, I won't notice you as much because my body is preoccupied.  I wonder if you get tired when I get tired or when I use a lot of this energy?  Either way, you're moving more overall and today was a big day for you!

This morning I thought I felt you stronger than I have been lately, so I decided to try a little experiment.  I was lying on my back with my upper body propped against the pillows and I put my hand on my lower belly to see if you really did have more force.  Sure enough, I felt you inside and out- just barely, but enough!  Therefore, I told your dad to quick place his hand on my belly, with my hand on top of his, and to wait.  When I felt you, I would tap the area on his hand where he should have felt you.  The second time we did this, he responded with, "Yeah!  I felt it, too!!" ...and then he said, "Ew..." but don't take it personally, Baby H, he's just new to this whole baby-moves-and-does-what-it-wants-when-it-wants thing. ; )

We reveled in this moment together throughout the day and I know it will stand out as one of the most exciting during pregnancy.  I'm not sure what it was that made you stronger, but I'm guessing it's just your impressive rate of growing.  This week you are developing lungs and you're also the length of a corn cob!  I imagine the hands or feet that said hello to us today can't weigh more than a tenth of a pound, which is really just amazing when you think about the way we're able to still feel you.

This week Nonnie will be coming to our monthly check-up and I'm hoping she'll be able to hear your whoosh whooshing heartbeat.  How exciting!!  Feel free to keep practicing the strong kicks/punches because she'd love to say hello in that way, too. : )

We love you and are amazed by you!
<3 Mom

A Baby H Update

Since there are many random things I'd like to mention, I decided to create a more informal entry for these purposes.  Maybe you've heard some of these things from me already, but maybe some will be a surprise- either way, enjoy! : )

• Baby H has progressed from a flutter to a daily serving, sometimes more, of popcorn popping in my belly!  It's really neat because I can almost always pick up on Baby after dinner, but also at times throughout the day!  A couple of times it's even made me jump a little bit. : ) 
• DONUTS... over the past week or so, I've developed an intense craving for donuts!!  Now, I don't know if it's truly a craving or if it's just "I'm going to eat three donuts because I can," but wow they are making Mama and Baby happy!  Especially white cream-filled... mmmm. 
• STEVE TRIED TO PEEK AT OUR 20 WEEK APPOINTMENT.  Come to find out, he's NOT an ultrasound technician, so it left him clueless.  Geesh, what a stinker.
• I've started to make myself sing in the car... and if you know me, this does NOT come naturally.  However, I figure it's an easy way for Baby H to hear more from me. : )  Although, I think Baby H will have a pretty good grasp on my voice since it gets to listen to me teach all day, too!  
• My newest class of seniors started applauding me when I told them I was preggers- lol.
• On another note to our 20 week appointment, I was given an A+++ (yes, triple A plus!) due to my blood levels and baby's development being in all of the optimal ranges. : )  Let's hope Baby H is an overachiever like his/her parents! (Minus the stress related health issues....)
• Still hatin' on ice cream, but now can drink decaf coffee!
• The nausea has kicked up again, but I see it's mostly due to hunger, so at night and early AM.  I've been forcing myself to eat more snacks and that seems to help.  
• We're at Snow Day #7 today, which means I'll officially be working on my due date.  Lord help us.
• Whoaaaaa, we're halfway there!  (Whoaaaaa, livin' on a prayer : ) )

a paradox?

Tonight I spent the last part of my grading session browsing the internet for baby thank you notes and then looking at people's baby pictures on Facebook.  It was a little bit of baby obsession time!

At the conclusion of seeing pretty little faces and wondering about Baby H's sweet little face, I told Baby H, "I miss you, Baby H!  I miss you without ever having met you.  Is that possible?"

As I think about it now, I know it is possible because I used to miss Steve even before I met him.  What an interesting and sweet little paradox.

Week *17* Excitement

Dear Baby H,

A couple of nights ago, I was lying in bed while your daddy was sleeping.  I might have been trying to fall asleep, or I might have woken up for a minute, I can't really remember.  However, what I do remember is the amazing little feeling that occurred near my side.

I'm pretty sure I was lying on my back when I felt an unmistakable "flutter" to my left side.  I immediately though, "Oh my gosh- a FLUTTER!"  Everyone had been telling me that when I first felt you, it would be a flutter or a little ripple that would catch my attention in a strange way.  Well, that's exactly what I experienced!  Naturally, I got really excited and lay there thinking how happy I was to have said hello to you.

Then, I thought to myself, "But Baby H, how could you ever be all the way over there?!" At which point, I pretty much talked myself out of the whole experience and decided you hadn't said hello yet.  Luckily, I talked to Nonnie the next day and she assured me that I very well could have felt you. : )  So, I am going with that!  Thank you, Baby H! 

The other most exciting thing about this week is the fact that I learned you are able to start hearing things.  You can probably hear my heart beating and my stomach when it grumbles.  (I wonder if you'll mistake that with Bagle's snoring eventually?  He sounds pretty much like a grumbly stomach.)  This is very exciting and I am going to try to talk to you more instead of just writing to you, but I have to admit it still feels a bit surreal!  In the same hope, though, I will also be letting you listen to Dave Matthews Band in the coming days and weeks.  Yay! :)

Please keep moving around in there, Baby H.  I hope you are comfortable and I hope my body is cooperating for you.  I'd love to feel you again, so don't be shy.

<3 Your Mom

...sometimes pregnancy is scary.

Okay, there, I said it- sometimes this journey is scary!  Now, Baby H, I hope you don't feel burdened by reading this, but I honestly just want to portray the challenging moments with the invigorating moments because they all balance out to a truly wonderful whole.  So please, don't worry too much in reading this, okay? : ) 

On Thursday evening of last week, Steve and I were assuming our regular pre-bed couch positions and watching a recorded episode of one of our favorite shows (Top Chef).  Normally, I look forward to this ritual and often gab eagerly throughout it - which he really LOVES - but on this night, I just couldn't get comfortable.  Now, this has become more of a challenge anyways as of late, what with the expanding belly, but something really just wasn't right.  I kept moving around, and realized that my back was starting to irritate me.  Having experienced back pain for the first two months of pregnancy, I figured I was just venturing down the same road, but then it got to be practically unbearable.  So unbearable, in fact, that I straight up left during the last and best ten minutes of the show and went up to bed in attempt to soothe my aches.

Unfortunately, things only got worse when I went up to bed.  The pain was increasing at an alarming rate, matched by my worries.  All I could think to myself was, "Don't people feel contractions in their back?  Why can't I breathe?  Why can't I get comfortable?  What is going on??"  I called for Steve, with a loud and moaning, "Baaaabe," whereupon *Bagle* came bounding up the stairs and planted himself by my side on the bed.  (I <3 that dog.)  Steve eventually made it up the stairs to me but at that point I had already decided I needed to call the doctor.  I was scared.

I waited for the call back from the answering service, and was eventually connected to my doctor.  I explained to her the position of my pain (middle back extending around to my ribs) and answered her questions between gasps.  She assured me to try Tylenol and a heating pad, but to go into the hospital for a check-up if things got worse.  I took a breath, thanked her, and hung up with a desperate hope.

To be honest, I've avoided reading about what contractions feel like and when and where they occur for the very reason that I don't want that knowledge to be haunting me until we're really close!  Therefore, I really had no idea about what I was experiencing.  Thankfully, Steve gave me some firm words of advice after I got off the phone- he told me he had felt my pain before, that it was a likely a muscle spasm, and that as hard as it may seem I NEEDED to calm down in order for my muscles to do the work to loosen up.   Heating pad arranged and myself now located on the guest bed with the extra firm mattress, I tried my best to follow my doctor and Steve's advice.

THANK GOD the heating pad started to do the trick within a few minutes and finally my mind was able to start settling.  I gradually found myself trusting in the fact that I had done the right thing so far, and that decreasing pain was a positive sign.  Eventually, I even fell asleep for a few hours at a time. 

Of course, I wish I weren't so neurotic at times and that I could handle the fear of the unknown better.  I PRAY, Baby H, that you will receive your dad's healthy acceptance for life, speckled with his love of a challenge.  My nerves are not something I want you to have to live with.  Nevertheless, this scary and somewhat carried away moment of mine was yet another learning experience for me during pregnancy.  I learned from the doctor the next morning that muscle spasms in the back and legs are actually common during pregnancy, since the blood flow in my body is changing all around to cater to Baby H.  I also learned that so far, my body really enjoys testing out a variety of pregnancy "symptoms." 

Thank you for teaching me about a new part of life, Baby H.  Please help me to have faith in you and to allow you to be as you need to be.  We love you!

The Story of the Mugs

As some of you may or may not know, I had a dream before we got pregnant where I gave my sister-in-law a mug that said, "First a bridesmaid, now an aunt!"  I woke up from the dream thinking that I needed to make this vision a reality some day, as I have been known to do in the past with some of my other dream ideas (programs for our wedding, etc.)  Well, a month later, I realized I'd have the opportunity to do so!

So I went to my favorite gift-giving website, www.etsy.com, and found an artist who personalizes mugs.  I had one made for my brother and SIL.  Below is a picture of the one we gave Robbie.

It was a lot of fun and worked out perfectly; we sent the mugs to them overnight the night of our 8 week appointment when we heard the heartbeat and saw that there actually was Baby H residing in me!  (It's funny to think what a blob you looked like then, I'll have to post that first picture sometime :) )  Rob and Sheri seemed to really love the surprise, and I think they even liked the mugs as practical mugs, too!

Well, a few weeks later, I hear from my brother over a text, and then my thoughts about their appreciation of the gift went down the toilet!  He texted me with this:

Rob: "Hey! Just wondering if u want us 2 send ur mugs back?"

My verbal reaction must have been a scoffing, sort of offended noise because Steve immediately asked me what my problem was.  I explained the text to him, and said something to the effect of, "No, I don't want the stupid mug back, it's a freaking gift!  Doesn't he get it?!"
To which my lovely, ever so logical husband responded, "Oh, well maybe they're having a kid."
To which I, the clearly superior thinker came back with, "Oh PLEASE they're not having a kid because he would NOT tell this to me over TEXT."

And then I got this text:

Rob: "ARE U SURE?!?!"

At which point I'm pretty sure I started hyperventilating and or screaming, and Steve knowingly nodded his pretty little bald head at his cleverness.  I called my brother IMMEDIATELY and oh my gosh... the news was true!!!!  My bro and SIL found out the morning after we told them our news that they, too, would be sharing in this wonder.

Do you realize what this means, my precious readers?  It basically means that God realized I couldn't go through this alone and gave me a built-in, go-to, step-by-step comfort of a friend in my sister-in-law.  Our shared experiences- and some of them have been downright uncanny- have brought such peace to me as I have learned how to be pregnant with you, Baby H.  Not to mention the fact that you and Baby T will always have each other, hopefully as good friends, throughout your lives!!  This makes me so excited for you both.

Another reason that makes this so special is the fact that my cousins (your second? great? cousins... I'll have to look into this) Kristine and Steven, went through the very same thing with their spouses and their first babies!  Two new babies within a month of each other.  Wow!  Love Love Love <3 : )

Here's to you, Baby H, and YOU, Baby T!  We all love both of you so much.  I pray your timings continue to bless us.

<3 the Mama

food love

Dear Baby H,

I love you so much I haven't had one lick of brownie batter or one scoop of cookie dough in FOUR months. 

<3 Your Mama